Just when she thought she'd turned into JC, with all that turning of the other cheek business!
Or into Gandhi, with his peaceful, non-violent approach to strife!
Or into the Buddha, (not saying anything about the Buddha's weight problem, which expateek seems to share at the moment), but rather about the Buddha's letting go of anger stuff.
Just when y'all thought that expateek was just about right in the head, guess what came in the mail the other day? Go on, guess! Ha, time's up, slow-poke.
Yes, in the mail was the fabulouso fantastico prize from Steamy! And little did Steamy know that she was inadvertently feeding expateek's sick addiction to violent role-playing games.
So, yes,
These will be just perfect for enacting play-revenge on le French boss of the bad news, who thoughtlessly and cruelly forced expateek to once again up sticks and move countries, from Poland to the US. Damn and blast him!
So let's try out one of the 10 plagues on le boss. Here he is, all healthy and happy, strolling down a verdant boulevard in Rueil-Malmaison, just outside of Paris. Ah, les fleurs! Les oiseaux! [Ze flowers! Ze birds!] His life is so relaxed, so lovely, as he mulls over what kinds of fresh and unreasonable demands he can make upon his minions.
But attends! Look! What is this?
Why, it is one of the Biblical plagues, right here on this lovely French side-street. And it is... the Plague of Blood!
Argh! Pffft! Guh! Mon Dieu!
My God, I am stricken! Ze plague! I die!
Ooooh. That was effective, though a bit too quick and efficient for expateek's tastes. She wonders which of the plagues offers a slower and more painful death. Lice sounds nice and itchy. Perhaps she'll try that one next.
Meanwhile, ta ta for now. expateek has some important things to do.
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7 comments:
First of all - this is genius.
Second of all - this is genius.
Thirdly - I have been through Rueil-Malmaison many times! Scary.
But mainly, this is genius. And did you really want to stay in Poland?
Yes, I really enjoyed Poland. But mainly, I like to stay wherever I am at that moment, cuz I'm lazy like that. Moving house is just expensive, tiresome, and a damned waste of time. I can never get on and do real things that real people do like act in the local panto (right...), or finish my dissertation (ahem) or whatever, because all I seem to do is pack, unpack, and then look for all the stuff that is misplaced once again. Don't set your keys down anywhere in my house... you'll never see them again. And it's not my fault!! Wahhhhhh! :-(
There are lots of words to describe the sort of people who act in the local panto.
But real?
Really?
Ha, I could never do panto. I'm much too shy.
Shit dude! I'm already afraid of clowns!! You just gave me nightmares!
Yeah, blood and clowns. Potent combo, eh? Just wait unteeeeel tomorrow, gf!
You shy? Truly the internet can conceal all manner of things.
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