Thursday, November 17, 2005

Hallmark cards for you

Hey, guys, it’s not all bad news from here, not ALL horrible problems. Really. For example, good news! Albert, the waiter who had a gunshot wound in the very first installment of these South African stories, has made a full recovery. We met him the other day, back at work in the garden restaurant “Buitegeluk” (loosely translated Afrikaans, “outdoor happiness”). As good as new, he was, so he said. All smiles. The gunshot wound only hurts sometimes, a little. Yeah, you can hardly ask for a better report than that, hey?

In fact, I’ve even written some poetry to perk us all up. Or perhaps it’s a song. Hum along, now, everyone!

We can all be light hearted, and happy, and gay....
No one I know ‘as been shot at, today....

lah-dee-dah...! lah-dee-dah!
lah dee DAH da, dee DAH da, dee DAH!

See our house in the ‘burbs, by the pool, in the heat,
The electric fence snapping -- security’s sweet!
The gate is rolled shut, alarm’s set to “stay”
That ought to keep all those bad okes away.

So we’ll sing and we’ll dance and make music and merry,
‘Cuz life in South Africa isn’t SO hairy!
We’ll play the piano, all ten fingers flying
(’Course I started with twelve!) (......No, really, I’m lying!)

lah-dee-dah...! lah-dee-dah!
lah dee DAH da, dee DAH da, dee DAH!

(Supply a tune from any Gilbert and Sullivan musical of your choosing.)


Or maybe I should write something more like a Hallmark greeting card...

Here’s hoping when the bullets fly
You’re nowhere near the scene
And when you see police nearby
They’re not corrupt or mean.
Stay far away from jewelry stores
And cash-in-transit vans,
Just linger by the pool, and, Doll,
Keep working on your tan.

.... Wishing you a Lekker Day from South Africa!....
Love, ...

Whaddya think? Do I have a career ahead of me in show biz or in the commercial stationery industry?

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