Wild thing

What else? O my goodness.... the wildlife here! And I’m not talking about the “big 5” -- like the lions, elephants, and what, and who, and wha’evah.... no, I’m just talking about the run of the mill creatures.....

THE INSECTS!!! Like the ENORMOUS grasshopper I saw sitting in the road the other day when I took Vladimir for a walk.

He, the dog, was appalled. I was appalled. This beast was the size of a Triumph TR3. Less sporty looking, slightly, but still. It was a glorious golden brown color, with custom yellow stripes along its haunches, and spotty details on its hood, ...whoa... I mean “bonnet” -- hang on, don’t I mean “head”? It was at least 4 inches long. Is this allowed? Should I call someone? Can we get past him?

Oh sure. Grasshoppers just sit there, ogling you, really, thinking, “Will she step on me? Will her dog eat me? If so, I’m gone.” (Vladimir’s sitting there thinking, “Golly mom, please don’t make me do anything!”)

No, the creature just sat there, bobbling his enormous black eyeballs at me, and I finally moved off. I thought about running back to get my camera (“running! running! did you have your oxygen tanks filled up? Are you mad?”) OK, not running, smartarse, but I figured that by the time I got back, he’d be gone. That was my excuse, anyway. So I didn’t take his picture and you’ll just have to believe me.