Sunday, May 24, 2009

Hello Ma'am? We got yer 17 tonnes o' stuff

Oh yes. You knew it was coming, and so did expateek.

She wept quietly in the corner of the rented Schaumburg flat every so often, but there was nothing to be done. She and Mr D were moving back into their long-owned house in the more southerly western suburbs, and so four lorries truckloads full of expateek's worldly goods were doomed to show up on her old homestead's doorstep eventually.

There was the shipping container from Poland/South Africa/England -- all the stuff that expateek had dragged along with her, from continent to continent to continent, for seven long short years abroad. That amounted to two quick truckloads.

And there was the mystery container, full of the things that expateek had deemed worthy of storage for rather a long time. Another two truckloads.

A week ago Monday, the thrills began.

Look, as the moving men come to expateek's street.

They stretch their legs, and have a smoke, as they wait to begin their difficult task. Ever tried to put 17 tonnes of sh** into a 12 oz. sock? Yes, these men know it will not be easy.

After the unloading of the first, Polish shipment, expateek and Mr D rested for a few days, and expateek wondered why she'd been worried. After all, there was still quite a lot of room in the house, and she hadn't stored that much extra stuff... Victory was nigh! Things were all going so well!

And then the second shipment arrived.

Put it there. No, there. Oh, that corner's full? Maybe there. No? Uhhh..... Maybe if you move the extra bookcases from here to there? No? How about there to here? No? Upstairs? No? Basement?

Gosh, sorry guys. This is terrible.

Okay then. The garage. There must be room there?



Meanwhile, expateek is dealing with her inner b**ch as she picks packing stickers off every d*mn thing in the house.




She's surprised she hasn't found one of these blasted things on her a*se.

Oh wait, she has.

No, really, she hasn't.

Totally NOT skin-of-the-a*se. Though clearly, this skin could use a good exfoliating treatment.

Skin of the mid-thigh, people. Don't get all excited. And send me some moisturising creme, pronto.

And tomorrow?

expateek will show you the things that shouldn't have been packed 7 years ago.

Like, really.



Wow, that was awkward said...

I didn't realize you are in Chicago. That automatically makes us best friends. I don't miss living there, but definitely love the city. Schaumburg - ha. I grew up in Arlington Heights. That is Action Heights to you, pal.

expateek said...

Hi, best friend! It was the Cubbies hat that tipped me off. We're actually moving back to Glen Ellyn, but I play tennis up in Action Heights... awesome!

Michel said...

hA! I totally love to get my HHE and storage's like Christmas!! You totally forget you had half that shit - and then are usually puzzled why you would have stored a drawer full of crap that you never used the four years you lived there preivously.

Good times.

Good luck with the unpacking! And welcome home!

Anna said...

Hallefreakinglujah!!! I think I can comment now!:)

expateek said...

Whoo hoo, Anna! I changed to the pop-out box, and just for you, darling! Comment away!

Michel -- what's HHE? Her Honorable Exports? At any rate, totally agree. I cannot believe the stuff that got packed. Photos later today. It's damned embarrassing, really...

Anonymous said...

Mowahahaha! You sound just like my husband. Our garage is full of his cr-p...

Anna said...

I love you expateek. LOVE YOU!!!
I feel like going through all your old posts screaming "I can has cheezburger now!"
woot woot!!!