Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Why? Why?

Of course, expateek did promise those incriminating photos today.

Never one to disappoint, she's happy embarrassed to show you what she forgot to toss seven years ago. Because she was very very busy totally lazy that long-ago summer, many many useless items were wrongly packed and stored somewhere in the greater Chicago area for almost a decade (expateek likes to round up, for effect).

Here are things that should have been spending the same seven years in a landfill somewhere.

First. Cords.

IMG_7300 cords, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Actually, these are useful, and will save expateek a lot of grief when she finally gets all her euro electrical plugs sorted out.

Maybe. If she can figure out to what these cords should attach.

Next up? Mysterious notes written by 9th graders.

IMG_7285 park note, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.


Firstly: dreadful grammar. D+ for grammar.

And a Mexican park? What child in this family has been to Mexico? No one.

A- for imagination, perhaps.

Next, expateek has ... vintage calendar refrigerator magnets!

IMG_7291 old calendar magnets, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Once again, you know you're sick with envy, but expateek is, sadly, unwilling to share these treasures. Probably because Mr D's already thrown them out while she wasn't looking.

And then it's on to the consumables. Of course expateek stored some food! Of course! Why not? You know those expiry dates are meaningless. Come on, be brave and come over to expateek's tomorrow night for a snack of...

IMG_7201 goldfish and cheerios, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

seven-year-old Pepperidge Farm goldfish! And Cheerios! Yummmmmmmy. She's serving them up in a bin-liner. (The bin liner is clean, by the way. Manufactured in 2009, so it's totally sanitary.)

They look completely normal, don't they? Come on, just one bite. expateek wants to see what happens.

Oh fine, be that way.

If you like, expateek could whip up some toast. She's got some jelly here somewhere. Ah, yes, here it is.

IMG_7297 mint jelly, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

What kind of jelly? Why, it's mint, since you ask. Oh yes, all the popular Brits are having mint jelly on toast these days. It's the latest thing in London. Or Bracknell perhaps. Anyway.

The date? Oh gosh, let expateek check.

IMG_7299 closeup jelly label, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Hmmm. expateek thinks jellies and suchlike get better with age, don't you? Kind of like wines, she read it in a magazine somewhere, perhaps.

But speaking of wine, look what Mr D found!

IMG_7280 wine from 2000, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Possibly 10-year-old homemade cherry wine, created in a flurry of creativity by Mr D ages and ages ago. Cellared for now 10 years!

Watch as the wine is decanted and poured.

IMG_7282 wine/cherry, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Hmmm. Looks fine.

Nice and dry. Colour's still good. Clear, pleasant taste.

An, best of all, expateek and Mr D are still alive and kicking the next morning.

Apparently, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Or so they say.



Sooz said...

But wait, lest I forget......
We,too, have Mystery Objects in storage in Dallas. Coupled with that infernal heat, we may have some doozies to share with ya! Stay tuned....

expateek said...

Gosh, we had this chair (kind of like a repro "Egg" chair) that I was going to have reupholstered upon our return. The upholstery foam had completely disintegrated and was pouring like fine sand out of moth-holes in the fabric. I decided to bin it. Not worth the threat of asbestos poisoning or whatever.

Everything else came through fine though. Probably to our detriment, as we can hardly wiggle in the house. Jeez.

Sooz said...

I feel your pain

Fragrant Liar said...

Lord, I'm afraid to look in the boxes stored in my attic. Some have been stored since 2005 and some since 2003. I am thinking that if I haven't needed them by now, I don't need them at all. But you never know what family treasures might lie in them. I'm sure there aren't any goldfish or cheerios or mint jelly, or even wine. But maybe a treasure map. Well, wouldn't that be lovely.

expateek said...

Liar -- yes, a few things have been nice to see again... but a very few!

Hope you're feeling better now, by the way. x

Anna said...

FAB!!! And about cords and extension cables - you can never have enough of these!

And the rest - it made me think of what kind of biological weapons I will find in my kitchen when I return home. :)

Pochyemu said...

Erm, I can tell you, mint jelly is not popular in Bracknell. Not from where I'm sitting, anyway. Mint? On toast? Ugh.

Expat mum said...

The mint jelly could be used to attract flies and bees in the garden, thus keeping them away from you.
Lord knows what the Cheerios taste like. Actually, they probably have no taste whatsoever. And yo upaid to store all that stuff?

expateek said...

Expatmum -- Ha ha, we did NOT pay! The small sweet victory is that le French boss of the bad news paid. I win!

Pochyemu -- but wait, isn't your partner a chef? Surely he can come up with a use for mint jelly that doesn't involve lamb?

Belle said...

I can't comment. I am the world's worst hoarder. But I do like opening boxes that I put away years before and finding stuff that I had completely forgotten about. That wine DOES look good. I'm definitely sure I would not be able to have kept it for so long.

expateek said...

Belle -- the only reason it lasted that long was that, bizarrely, IT was in storage too, for the full 7 years. I thought they didn't pack liquids, but apparently they'll pack whatever's not nailed down. Who knew?

pinolona said...

Mmmm: fruit wine just gets better with age. Wine isn't Poland's strong point. Can you save me a glass??

Iota said...

Love it! Especially the Mexican Park note.

expateek said...

Iota -- yes, the Mexican park note remains a mystery! To be continued...

Pino -- I don't think I had any Polish wine (why bother when the wodka is so plentiful?) We'll brew up some more fruit wine and invite you over for the next wine-tasting.