Monday, April 27, 2009

Brazilian expedition

Any of expateek's children reading this, please go straight to paragraph 5 paragraph 6. In fact, mommy's got some great microwaved popcorn for you out in the kitchen, so why don't you run along there and you can come back later tomorrow, when the grown-ups are done talking?

Well, expateek spent all day yesterday doing on-line research for her Museum Studies dissertation, what with it being due only 133 days from now procrastinating by reading other people's blogs and laughing herself silly. And she noticed that she hasn't been doing enough over-sharing lately, compared to many of her much younger [damn you all!] blogging colleagues. It's way too late to talk about beating her children with the spanky spoon, and also much too late to take tiresome weekly photos of her pregnant belly. Which would have amounted to a massive 160 weeks of belly photos over a period of 6 years, and who the hell needs that? [Actually, 162.5, because Peregrine/Kid 1 was 2.5 weeks late, and completely threw off the office Baby Birthday Pool, so expateek got to keep all the pool money! Just compensation for pain and suffering, she maintains.]

So, really, expateek only has one thing to talk about today that could possibly be considered over-sharing, and that would be her little expedition to the local spa for a dreaded Brazilian, in preparation for the pirate encounters she may or may not be having later this week. And it was painfully pleasant, in the way that going to the dentist is painfully pleasant, and did expateek tell you she loved her Polish dentist too?

Well, Julianna the waxist did an excellent job of hacking her way through expateek's vajungle, so that by the time she was done, things had gone from this...


Jungle, originally uploaded by gg smith.



to this...


Topiary, originally uploaded by Taz etc..



Or perhaps this....


Burned jungle, originally uploaded by Jami Dwyer.


Which got expateek all happy and excited because she knew that Mr D would be so interested in expateek's mad writing skillz! Most especially in how she could start out a post about Brazilian waxing, and finish off with a tirade against global warming and Amazonian deforestation.

Interestingly enough, though, once expateek got home, the last thing Mr D wanted to talk about was the electrical business and global warming. Can you beat that? You try to come up with a talking point, you act all interested in their jobs and everything, and then they go completely off in a different direction.

Sometimes men are just so unpredictable.


_

7 comments:

Don said...

"Vajungle"? Perfect. You should trademark that word for sure.

expateek said...

Can't take credit for it... go here for more... if you dare! http://thewomenscolony.com/bedroom/2009/4/10/love-hurts-by-aaryn-belfer.html

Hannah Rose said...

I like that one... Very good PROVIDED imagery that sufficiently supplanted mental imaginings. Phew!

Christine said...

Great imagery. You are a brave woman.

expateek said...

Christine -- Yes, I decided that actual photos of the real thang would get me new kinds of traffic that I wouldn't really want. For once, discretion!

scatts said...

Funny, my good lady had exactly the same today - Brazilian wax - and she's still walking funny!! ;)

expateek said...

Scatts -- Oooof! You crack me up.

On second thought, in this context, that sounds a bit off colour, so forget I said that!