Sunday, February 15, 2009

Bubble Wrap POP Quiz ANSWERS!

Well, expateek's kept you on tenterhooks for long enough.

side of beef, originally uploaded by k. brugman.

Actually, not on tenterhooks, exactly, because her tenterhooks are surely packed in that container that's on the ship that's sailing, sailing, over the Bounding Main.

And by the way, the hooks in the photo above are not actually tenterhooks, but expateek thought the guy in the blue gloves looked kinda cute, so she put the photo in anyway.

If you're interested, these are tenterhooks.

on tenterhooks, originally uploaded by johnwoodmanuk.

Or they're more tenterhookish than those meathooks were. Tenterhooks are hooks for stretching tents. expateek thinks she's going to need to learn about tenterhooks, because at the rate she's been moving around, she'll surely end up in a tent or a yurt or something by year's end.

But back to expateek's worldly goods, which are traveling to America. She hopes that the Main is not too Bounding, because that might break some of expateek's tea cups and tenterhooks. Anyway, best not to think about the Bounding Main without some Dramamine in one's system. Or some 15 year old Scotch. And it's far too early in the morning for that, really!

So expateek's going to go through the answers for last week's Bubble Wrap Pop Quiz, highlighting some of the more imaginative reader proposals.

Thanks to Scatts, Christine, polandian , Iota, and Pochyemu for such creative guesses!

Photo Number 1:

IMG_6626, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Is it:
  • A rattan chair with detachable snow shoes?
  • A replica Egyptian throne?
  • A Juice-a-matix 5,000, which can double as a wood chipper?
  • A small rocking chair?

First photo, outed:

IMG_6546 chair with arms, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

It's a chair. A chair that expateek picked out of the trash when she lived in Chicago 7 years ago, to the eternal mortification of her teenage son. No! Mom! No! No, no! Mommmm! Get back here! Get in the car! MOM! I have to get to soccer practice! Mom, it's ugly, and it's not gonna fit in the back of the car. Mom! Aw, sh**, Ma! This is so embarrassing.

And then expateek took it (the chair, that is) to a reupholsterer, and Bob's yer uncle! Almost like new.

Notice the juggling clubs in the background. They're part of expateek's new act, using the pole, tenterhooks, and ping pong balls. Wait for the YouTube video, coming soon!

Photo Number 2:

IMG_6624, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Is it:
  • A Thunderbird 4?
  • Full-size statue of JPII, since nobody will notice if one goes missing?
  • The pope himself?
  • Some kind of exercise machine?
  • A contemporary sculpture of buttocks named Full Moon Over Vienna?

Two, unveiled:

Sporting models, originally uploaded by World of Oddy.

It's a tartan shopping trolley, so expateek can fit in with all the other little old babcia's at the Mini Europa minimart. And it's better than an exercise machine, people! Because to use it, expateek has to lift weights (groceries), do resistance work (pull the heavy trolley), and in fact, go walking for four blocks. Each way. Ugh, double ugh, and triple ugh.

Photo Number 3:

IMG_6623, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Is it:
  • a piano?
  • expateek's children?
  • A giant door stopper wedge thing? For a giant door, obviously...
  • an adult sized spring horse? So good for the abs! No wonder expateek stays in such great shape.

Three, revealed:

IMG_6567 ping pong table, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

It's the ping pong table, folded up and slightly dismantled. Because you just can't play enough ping pong over the Christmas holidays. And did expateek ever tell you what she learned about ping pong balls whilst in Thailand? No?

Oh, never mind.

Photo Number 4:

IMG_6620, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Is it:
  • A Pole? Ahaha haha haha haha… ehem
  • A pole for erotic naked dancing?
  • A lamppost?
  • A telepost? (To be used for kinky purposes).
Goodness, expateek's readers have vivid imaginations! Actually, the next photo does show complete nudity (or nakedness, if you will). So if there are small children hanging about or if there are any slavering perverts in the vicinity, do please shield their eyes!

Four, naked:

IMG_6490 thin man, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

The photo says it all, don't you think?

Photo Number 5:

IMG_6619, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Is it:
  • Six-pack of Polish moving guys preserved in vinegar (mmmm, yummy!)
  • Assortment of wigs and cod-pieces (mmm, more fun and games for Mr D!)
  • A collection of octagonal stop signs (hmmm, better stop this, expateek's kids read her blog sometimes....)
  • A big round thing (a good, safe guess!)
  • Bottom box: socks Top box: more socks (expateek likes them, in a box! she would like them, those black socks...)

Five, sans vêtements:

Ooops, it's Miss Fringe's head in that box!!

Photo Number 6:

IMG_6615, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

Is it:
  • Part of expateek's vodka distillery?
  • A wizard's cap?
  • A lampshade?
  • A diving buoy? (And why expateek needs one of these, Christine says she can not fathom!)

Six, stripped bare:

IMG_6534 patio set, originally uploaded by ehdindigo.

The base for the garden umbrella. Although made into a hat, this would look fabulous, dahling, at the next Royal Ascot Ladies Day. A bit on the heavy side, perhaps, but a lovely shade of green.

And that's all for now! Ta ta! expateek has to go practice her pole dancing Polish now.



Don said...

I much prefer the thought of object 4 as an actual dancing pole, so if it's OK with you, I plan to hang on to that mental image instead.

Christine said...

Hahahaha! Loved it!

Iota said...

That was fun!

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