Actually, not on tenterhooks, exactly, because her tenterhooks are surely packed in that container that's on the ship that's sailing, sailing, over the Bounding Main.
And by the way, the hooks in the photo above are not actually tenterhooks, but expateek thought the guy in the blue gloves looked kinda cute, so she put the photo in anyway.
If you're interested, these are tenterhooks.
Or they're more tenterhookish than those meathooks were. Tenterhooks are hooks for stretching tents. expateek thinks she's going to need to learn about tenterhooks, because at the rate she's been moving around, she'll surely end up in a tent or a yurt or something by year's end.
But back to expateek's worldly goods, which are traveling to America. She hopes that the Main is not too Bounding, because that might break some of expateek's tea cups and tenterhooks. Anyway, best not to think about the Bounding Main without some Dramamine in one's system. Or some 15 year old Scotch. And it's far too early in the morning for that, really!
So expateek's going to go through the answers for last week's Bubble Wrap Pop Quiz, highlighting some of the more imaginative reader proposals.
Thanks to Scatts, Christine, polandian , Iota, and Pochyemu for such creative guesses!
Photo Number 1:
- A rattan chair with detachable snow shoes?
- A replica Egyptian throne?
- A Juice-a-matix 5,000, which can double as a wood chipper?
- A small rocking chair?
First photo, outed:
chair. A chair that expateek picked out of the trash when she lived in Chicago 7 years ago, to the eternal mortification of her teenage son. No! Mom! No! No, no! Mommmm! Get back here! Get in the car! MOM! I have to get to soccer practice! Mom, it's ugly, and it's not gonna fit in the back of the car. Mom! Aw, sh**, Ma! This is so embarrassing.
And then expateek took it (the chair, that is) to a reupholsterer, and Bob's yer uncle! Almost like new.
Notice the juggling clubs in the background. They're part of expateek's new act, using the pole, tenterhooks, and ping pong balls. Wait for the YouTube video, coming soon!
Photo Number 2:
- A Thunderbird 4?
- Full-size statue of JPII, since nobody will notice if one goes missing?
- The pope himself?
- Some kind of exercise machine?
- A contemporary sculpture of buttocks named Full Moon Over Vienna?
expateek can fit in with all the other little old babcia's at the Mini Europa minimart. And it's better than an exercise machine, people! Because to use it, expateek has to lift weights (groceries), do resistance work (pull the heavy trolley), and in fact, go walking for four blocks. Each way. Ugh, double ugh, and triple ugh.
Photo Number 3:
- a piano?
- expateek's children?
- A giant door stopper wedge thing? For a giant door, obviously...
- an adult sized spring horse? So good for the abs! No wonder expateek stays in such great shape.
expateek ever tell you what she learned about ping pong balls whilst in Thailand? No?
Oh, never mind.
Photo Number 4:
- A Pole? Ahaha haha haha haha… ehem
- A pole for erotic naked dancing?
- A lamppost?
- A telepost? (To be used for kinky purposes).
Photo Number 5:
- Six-pack of Polish moving guys preserved in vinegar (mmmm, yummy!)
- Assortment of wigs and cod-pieces (mmm, more fun and games for Mr D!)
- A collection of octagonal stop signs (hmmm, better stop this, expateek's kids read her blog sometimes....)
- A big round thing (a good, safe guess!)
- Bottom box: socks Top box: more socks (expateek likes them, in a box! she would like them, those black socks...)
Five, sans vêtements:
Ooops, it's Miss Fringe's head in that box!!
Photo Number 6:
- Part of expateek's vodka distillery?
- A wizard's cap?
- A lampshade?
- A diving buoy? (And why expateek needs one of these, Christine says she can not fathom!)
Six, stripped bare:
fabulous, dahling, at the next Royal Ascot Ladies Day. A bit on the heavy side, perhaps, but a lovely shade of green.
And that's all for now! Ta ta! expateek has to go practice her