Monday, August 25, 2008

OK, 3 guesses. Where am I?

Ha ha!! You lose, man! No one knows where I am, save the genius Mr. D, who will be spiriting me away Wednesday to the wildernesses of eastern Poland. Bison amongst the tall reeds, old growth forests, lichens last seen by Beowolf's kinfolk... I can not wait!

Just hope there's a spa-ish kind of hotel at the end of the road each day. Not that I'm a high maintenance kind of gal or anything, but I do like to wash up for dinner.

Right now, I'm back in Warsaw, but only for a minute or two. Just enough time to play a few tennis games and then get my hair coloured back to that sexy brunette mop I love to fling about (instead of "badger-stripe-down-the-backside" white-with-dark-ends. Ugh!) Oh Pawel, Pawel! My darling hairdresser, what would I do without you? (He's at ul. Panska 80/82, Warszawa, if you really need to know.)

So what's new? Been comparing the USA, my most recent destination, with South Africa, my late 2007ish home.

The USA. Safe (sorta... it's all relative, really). Incredibly easy to figure out. Highways make sense. Stores have every dang thing you'd ever want to buy, plus 2oo more things you wouldn't. Low cost of living. Petrol still impossibly cheap compared to the rest of the world. Not much thought required for most of the stuff you could want to do on any given day. If you can stomach George Bush Jr.'s political position in the world and either excuse it ("Oh, never mind, his term's almost over anyway.."), or deny it ("Hell, I didn't vote for him!") then all in all, it's not a bad place to be.

SA. Sheesh. I keep reading the news from SA, just to torture myself I suppose. Had an interesting exchange with a guy who lived in SA and emigrated to the UK a few years ago. He wrote, "The fact that carrying a condom in your handbag is the norm for women in SA is a telling enough indictment." What a nightmare. Somehow the idea of having a condom in your purse in case of rape seems just about the same as having a rabbit's foot on your keyring. Unlucky for the rabbit, probably not particularly lucky for you, either.

Oh well. Let's move on.

Because then there's Poland. Safe? Very. Unless you're behind the wheel. Then, all bets are off. The Poles drive like madmen and there's no understanding why. Weaving in and out of traffic, accelerating to duck in front of you only to brake violently. I don't get it. You'd think they were all trying out for the Indy 500.

They won't give you a break in traffic, or take turns, and if you let someone in ahead of you, just to be polite, they look at you as if you're insane. No waving "Thanks" after the favour either. Why thank a woman who's clearly driving herself to the lunatic asylum? (Why else would she have let you into traffic? She's obviously nuts. So she wouldn't understand your "thank you" anyway! So feggedaboudit.)

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